The Reports of Darth Vader's death are greatly exaggerated!

I have been on a death watch for the past two weeks. My beloved fish Darth Vader has appeared to be on death's door. Yet he remains alive. I first noticed a couple of weeks ago that he was listing to the side and wanted to lay at the bottom of his bowl most of the time and he was not eating. I changed his water in the hopes of reviving him but it seemed to only make him linger more at death's door. But against all hopes last night he seemed to simply shake off deaths grip and started swimming vigorously around his bowl. I feed him and he ate every morsel. What happened to give Mr.Vader(as my Dad likes to call him) a renewed vigor for life? I have no answer that question. Perhaps he realized all he would miss out on if he did swim into the light. Or maybe just maybe he dreams of making it into the Guinness Book of World Records by being the longest living Betta Fish ever. He has survived for 3 years and 4 months so surely he is on his way. I hope his zest for life keeps him going. I will be sad when he does decide to throw off the mantle of mortal existence and join the school of fish in the blue waters of the sea beyond.

Instructions

The instructions said to simply add water. So she filled the small glass jar with water and waited. She checked on it every few hours the first two days, then as the days became weeks she checked every few days. As the weeks became months she checked every few weeks and as those months added up and became years she simply forgot about the small glass jar and went on with her life. She grew up and went to high school, then college. She got a job she liked but did not love. She meet a man she liked but did not love. She liked the life she had carved for herself but she did not love it. She never complained and was grateful for a good steady life. But she did dream of far flung adventures with dashing men and fabulous clothes and exotic places. She dreamed of becoming a spy and seeking out all the worlds secrets She dreamed of being a doctor who traverses the Rainforest looking for its secret cures. She dreamed of speaking every language known to man. She held her dreams close to her and told no one of her desires. Until that day when she was reminded of the instructions she had followed years ago, "Just add water." The police came to her door that day asking questions, then the FBI showed up asking questions, then the CIA and Scotland Yard showed up asking more questions. She did not have the answers to their questions. She was confused. They took her away and put her in a small room by herself. They came again and asked the questions again, but this time she knew the answers, she even could answer in several languages. She did not know how she could do this but she could and slowly as they kept asking questions and she kept answering, she began to not just like her life but love it. What transpired after all the questions is a mystery because she left through a side door and no one has seen her since. Her parents keep mementos of her around the house to remind them that she did exist. One of the mementos her mother cherishes is the small glass jar that had once been filled with water by a little girl formulating dreams of the future, on the instruction tag it said, fill with water and all your dreams will come true.

Open Letter to the residents of the Condo Building Next Door to my office building

Dear Condo Residents,

You may not realize this because you foolishly think that because you live on the 8th floor of a luxury condo building in downtown Chicago no one can see into your apartment. Just to let you know, we can. Most people in my office are here at work by 8:30 am every week-day, so if you decide that a nice morning bout of sex with your partner is what you want to do, great more power to you, but please close the curtains. Also if you feel like frying bacon for breakfast either wear clothes to do it or close the curtains. We can see you.

Yours Truly,
Employees across the street

Carcassonne

I just finished reading a delicious book called the Labyrinth, by Kate Mosse. It is set in France in both current times and the 12th century. Being a history major I love reading historical fantasy. Time travelling, past lives, I love it all. I loved this book and actually it has piqued my interest in a number of subjects, The Crusades, Medieval France, The Cathers, Occitan and most specifically Carcassonne, France. What I knew from reading this book was that it was a walled city that was first founded during the Roman Empire and that it is one of the few remaining walled cities in Europe and is located in Southern France. After googling it I found that it is a UNESCO World Heritage site and is probably one of the most beautiful places I have seen. It was occupied by the Visigoths in 436. In 1082 the Trencavel family came to be Viscounts of Carcassonne. It was abandoned in the 18th century and was almost demolished in 1850 but some restoration had already begun and thus the demolition decree was never carried out. It is now at the top of my world travel list. A lot happened at Carcassonne, during the the Crusades against the Cathers it was beiseged and eventually fell. It is now a huge tourist destination.

In the future only Robots will know love.

My co-workers and I have become obsessed with Robots and Super Computers. We have Robot pictures on our desktops, for his birthday we bought my boss a book titled
"How to survive a Robot Uprising" and my boss is planning a Robot costume for Halloween. In that vein we have recently been discussing what the future holds for Robots. My boss believes that the Earth will never know peace and harmony until we are all ruled by a Supercomputer. I disagree for various reason but mainly because computer are ultimately programmed by humans(his argument that eventually the supercomputer will start to build its own computers so the human element is mot is wrong because the origin of all computers will still be man.) We have had numerous discussion on this topic, to the extent that we have become consumed with proving our point. Will a Super Computer be a better leader or will it fail to because it was built by humans. These discussions have gone on for entire lunches. Recently we went to lunch with a co-worker who had yet to be involved in the Super computer discussion and I really think we scared him. He seemed to be shocked by the fact that instead of discussing our current foreign policy we were actually discussing the merits of being ruled by a Super computer. But ultimately our discussions of Super Computer Dictatorships are way more entertaining then contemplating the Iraq War and the Bush administration because lets face it I am just bidding my time until 2008. Super Computer for President 2008!

PS: In the future only robots will know love, it is a fact.

Paint your own pottery

In the Regency period of history when Jane Austin was writing her amazing novels, young woman of a certain class did not have many options when it came to spending their free time. They could read, play the pinafore, paint water color landscapes or pieces of pottery. I am thankful that I did not live during this time because I would have gone crazy with the lack of freedom and choices, but I think we have lost something that people of this time had. The ability to truly enjoy our leisure time and fill it with simple fun activities, like archery or boating or painting pottery. Instead too many people hang out at bars and drink.

So this week-end my friends Diane, Stephanie and I spent a leisurely afternoon painting pottery. It is loads of fun and I think that I am developing an addiction to it. This is the second time I have painted pottery the first happened as a spur of the moment thing. This time we sort of planned it. I painted a mug and am so looking forward to picking it up on Saturday that I can hardly concentrate on anything else. The best part of the process is just hanging out with your friends and talking as you paint. I highly recommend this activity.

I also went bowling this week-end so it turned out to be a great week-end.

Arch-nemesis

To insure that my life is as full and fun as I can make it I have always felt it is important to have an arch nemesis. I have done this since I was young. I think it adds color and joy to your life to have that one person you just dread seeing and you want to shake your fist at. There are aome rules to who my arch-nemesis is, they are simple rules, they are not people or things that could actually ever really hurt me but that are just daily, weekly or monthly annoyances. A good example would be one of my first, she was my baby-sitter for about 3 years and she always made me watch scary movies, I dreaded her. Jerry Seinfeld has a good one in Newman.

I currently have two arch-nemesis. One I call the Starbucks boy. He works at the Starbucks a block from my apartment and he is the slowest barista EVER! But that is not why he is my enemy. Last year I walked to Starbucks on a Sunday morning as I am want to do and he was working the register. He did not greet me or ask me what I wanted he said, " Do you watch adult swim" he mumbled this and I did not quite hear him so I said, "What" and he smugly said," You don't know what adult swim is?" and I replied that I did that I just did not have cable so did not watch it and then he asked me if I knew what my tee-shirt meant. I was wearing my black MISFITS tee-shirt with the melting skull on it(the Misfits are a band from the 70-80's) I said yes I did, that it was a Misfits shirt and then I asked him if he knew who the Misfits were and he said yes of course and the woman working with him laughed and said " No you don't". I ordered my coffee and he did not say anything else. From that day forward he has tormented my dog whenever he see's us walking. He is so slow in making coffee that he only works the register now.

My other Arch-nemesis is named Joshie and I actually cross the street when I see him. He loves my dog and knows him by name. He is 2 years old. He pushes down on Chavdar as he pets him. I seriously avoid the kid and I sort of feel bad about because recently he kissed my dog and rubbed his cheek on his back. So I am trying to decide if he should still be my enemy.

So if you do not have an arch-nemesis you should get one. It is fun.